Miscarriage is a taboo subject that no one seems to talk about but unfortunately it is an all too common event as 1 in 5 pregnancy’s end this way. Like myself, many woman think, “it wont happen to me” but this is our story ...
For a few weeks, I was feeling exhausted, bloated, sickly and my breasts were becoming sore. I didn’t believe I was pregnant, but on 03/06/2011 at 8:00am, I took a home pregnancy test before I set off for work. To my disbelief, the test was positive. I was going to be a mummy! I felt overwhelmed, I cried with happiness and phoned my fiancé immediately while he was at work. I was hyperventilating I was so excited. We were both overjoyed and were already starting to plan for our future. I was 5 weeks pregnant
We told our parents later that day and they were so excited they started making plans of their own, jokingly making baby sitting rota’s and dad was intent on calling the baby Steven if a boy and Stevie if a girl (after him). Shaun and I even had low level bickering over baby names. I loved every second of my pregnancy experience, even morning, noon and night sickness. I enjoyed watching my tummy grow and loved talking to my bump, which we nick named Mr Trump. In the following weeks I religiously filled in my ‘belly book,’ this was my pregnancy diary which I recorded my weekly feelings, baby’s growth, belly measurements, weight and the like. Me and my mum made shopping trips for baby clothes and dad took me window shopping for prams. I felt like the most luckiest girl in the world.
Then on Tuesday 25/07/2011 at 1:00am, I started to get intense cramp like pain in my lower abdomen and I noticed bleeding. We went to A&E that instant, who advised me to take 2 paracetemol and rest. They booked me an appointment for a scan at the Early Pregnancy Assessment Unit (EPAU) for 26/07/2011. This was the day our world came crashing down around us. I lay on the bed while the sonographer located the baby. The silence was long and deafening, my partner held my hand while she said nothing, gazing into the screen. Then she turned to me and said, “I’m very sorry Victoria, the baby has no heartbeat”. I was 13 weeks pregnant, but my baby had not made it past 10 weeks, this was when the term ‘missed miscarriage’ entered our vocabulary. Devastation hit everyone hard and I was blown away by grief.
That day I was sent home to discuss my options but thankfully Baby Bell was born naturally, on 26/07/2011 at 16:55. My precious sleeping angel, perfect in every way. Baby Bell was blessed that night by Chaplain and I was given a keepsake box, courtesy of Louis. This box put me in touch with the only support I’ve received to date, a charity for bereaved parents 4louis.
4babybell is a Non-Profit organisation that was established in August 2011 supported by 4Louis. Every penny raised and donated to 4babybell goes directly to the cost of making 4babybell Keepsake Box‘s. Each box costs around £5.00 each to assemble to a finished product. We are constantly looking for new and innovative ways to raise much needed funds. We are a small registered charity who is lookingto the general public and businesses to support us in any way they can. This can be direct donation or fundraising events that can be arranged with our help and support.
4louis have inspired me and my partner to set up our own charity 4babybell to continue their good work. 4babybell aspires to bring comfort to angels’ parents by providing memory boxes to hospitals across the North East to help them capture as many memories as they can and to let them know that they are not alone. We also aim to try and improve the bereavement service within the NHS.
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Over 300 Babies die every year in the U.K alone due to Sudden Infant Death (SIDS) SIDS is the sudden and unexpected death of a baby for no obvious reason Research has been ongoing for the past 20 years, researchers believe that there may be a combination of factors involved but are yet to discover exact details or cures. Sids is most common in babies under the age of 12 months old, but can occur at any age, Sids occurs most often but not always during sleep, This could be during the night or even during a day time nap
Here is my story... On the 16th march 2009, I received the greatest news of my life I was 7 weeks pregnant with my second child. Everyone was excited and happy for me and my husband, and Aaron couldn’t wait to meet his new brother or sister. Both my pregnancies have been difficult with me spending most of my time in hospital on the drip due to dehydration amongst other things. At my 20week scan I was delighted to discover I was having another Baby Boy, we were all so happy. Baby Alfie was a bit on the small side so I had to have regular scans and checks but he was a determined baby and by 36 weeks he was a healthy size On the 7th November 2009 after 9 days in slow labour my beautiful baby boy entered the world at a healthy 6lb 14oz and perfect in every way. We were allowed home the next day. Baby Alfie was such a happy and content baby and everyone who met him adored him. Aaron loved being involved with bath time and loved singing and reading to him. Then on 10th December 2009 our would fell apart, I woke at 7am to find my beautiful baby not breathing, I was overcome with panic and fear, I dialled 999 who talked my husband through resuscitation procedures, an ambulance arrived and rushed Baby Alfie to hospital where paramedics tried there best to save him, but it was too late, Post-mortem results revealed that Baby Alfie had passed away due to Sids aged just 5 weeks old. Although Alfie was only with us a short while he was very much loved and will never be forgotten. As a focus for m grief I have decided that I would like to help families who have suffered a loss of a child upto the age of 16 or 18 years old if the child has disabilities
4Alfie provides Sweet Dreams Keepsake Memory boxes which are handmade and contains items such as hand and foot impresison kits, Candles, Guardian angels teddy bears amongst other items to Childrens wards and Childrens A&E departments in the North East We also supply a range of books for siblings that help them to understand the loss of there loved ones.
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17 baby angels are born in the uk each day this is too many and we are wanting to raise awareness and help those mums and dads of angel babies to make there difficult time more of a happy memory by providing our local hospital with memory boxes and cameras and small moses baskets etc and we are hoping you wil be able to help x x We also provide these boxes to paretnts aftected by neo natal deaths and sids.we supply North Tees and Hartlepool and the Friarage Northallerton
May 25th 2009 we waited with anticipation as i took a pregnancy test and within moments there it was two blue lines,we were so excited we were going to have another baby,as the weeks went by we told family and friends who followed my pregnany with the excitment we were feeling and here it was the 13th of july the day before our wedding anniversary we had our 12 week scan and all was good so we took a picture of our much loved and wanted baby home to tell our children the exciting news that they were going to have a new baby brother or sister they were so excited,as the weeks went by my bump grew bigger n bigger and we all started choosing names and buying for our much awaited arrivial.
15th september 2009 and it was time for my 21 week scan i was excited but this time it was dampened by a underlying nevousness that i couldnt explain,i hadn't had this with my other children but gareth reasured me all would be ok and it was my time to go in for my scan,i lay there as the sonographer placed the gel on my tummy and started the scan and straight away i started to sqeeze gareths hand tighter and tighter as i scanned the screen for our precious babies heartbeat but there was nothing and what felt like a lifetime later the lady confirmed our worst fears our much loved and wanted baby had died,what happened after that was a blur all i knew was i had to go back to the hospital 3 days later to give birth to my baby.
September 18th we went to hospital and there i was induced and at 15.03 pm i gave birth to our beautiful baby boy Oliver Ronnie Edward Cox weighing 130g,this was the hardest thing a women wil have to go through giving birth to her baby knowing they wil never hear him/her cry or be able to breast feed them and the worst thing of all is WHY,what i,what did i do wrong all of which i have no answers,we spent the day and night with our special angel and had him blessed and the midwife gave us a photo of him and a print of his hands and feet but this was just on a torn off piece of paper it felt so impersonal.
After spending the day and nigh with our baby talking to him telling him how much we loved him and how his brother and sisters would have loved to have met him and would have spoilt him sooo much.In no time it was time to say goodbye the hardest thing we or any angel mummy and daddy wil ever have to do to leave there baby at the hospital knowing you wil never see or smell there special smell again,we left with a few photos and a blessing card and scrap of paper with his prints on,so little to remember him by or to treasure as i do with pictures my children draw or photos i have there first teeth there hair all these i wil never have from oliver.
As a focus of my grief i started searching the net hoping to find friendship with others who had been through simular things or someone to just help me and i found all i was looking for when i came across Kirsty McGurrell who had lost her little boy last yr too,she has has set up an organization in her area to provide memory boxes to her local hospitals to help angel parents to make there heartbreaking expierence a little easier and to help create memories and she has inspired me to help people in my area starting with my local hospital north tees,i want to be able to provide them with memory boxes that wil help them in there hard time,also i would like to be able to provide the hospital with small moses baskets for the babies to make there time on earth more comfy and special and not feel hospitalised for the parents.
I cant do all this alone and am hoping with your help i can raise money to do all these special things for angel babies and families.i hope to raise money in many ways such as fundraising nights and raffles,name the teddy and any other ideas will be very welcolme whilst doing this i want to raise awareness to the tragedy of 17 angel babes being born each day and hope we can eventually make a differnce.thankyou so much all our love kelley gareth and angel oliver x x x x
we are now providing the boxes to parents effected by stillbirth neo-natal death (baby who dies within 4 weeks of birth) SIDS(sudden infant death ) and PICU (pediatric intensive care unit),we are providing university of north tees and hartlepool and the friarage northallerton.
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At 9 months pregnant, the day before my son was due, I had a routine scan and was told my babies heart had stopped. This was the most horrific and heartbreaking thing I have ever been or will go through. ~Our son was loved so much by so many people and we counted down every day of the 9 months he was with us until we would hold him in our arms, t...he thought of stillbirth never even entered our minds! After an awful 48 hr labour Luca David Fraser was born 31st May 2009 weighing 10lb 8oz and was absolutley gorgeous! We left the hospital a week later empty handed, all I had to remember my son was a box containing a few photos, footprints and hospital bands.
My aim and as a focus for my greif is to supply our local hospital with Keepsake boxes, these boxes are invaluable for Mum's in my situation to remember our children. One of the most impotant things in these boxes is a clay impressions kit so parents can capture baby's hand and footprints. I want to help other mums like me, to have some comfort during their time in hospital. I remember how I felt I was the only person in the world to be going through it and how alone I felt, I hope my boxes will give some hope to the parents knowing they have come from someone who has walked a mile in their shoes.
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4Louis, 25 Bourn Lea, Shiney Row, Houghton Le Spring, Tyne & Wear DH4 4PG. Telephone: (0191) 3858066 / 0783 4152936. email: email@example.com
Workshop Addresses: 4Louis North, Unit 7, South Nelson Industrial Estate, Cramlington, Northumberland, NE23 1WF.
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